Wandered Mindset

I sit daydreaming like I'm feeling possessed
wondering if life could ever feel meaningless
my want is to sleep while I'm being caressed
go day in and day out wanting to flourish
I can't live the lives these others seem to walk and live
Should I quit and conform until my heart gives?
I got family in the ground, family in the sky
pushes me everyday to live and to fly high.
I look side to side and see only demons by
nobody's ever there, in my head I'm always screaming why?
You live, you learn, we all eventually die
but why shorten your lifespan when you didn't even try?
life's a test, but you never even studied all
the tools and the things that you're called to recall
cheating takes you so far, then you try to carry it on
you change your ways and motives to try and fit in with what's gone.
It's hell seeing the ones you care for leave
never even saw it coming like you pulled it out your sleeve
follow the light or follow the dark road
the future untold, a path with stories untold
second guess yourself, you'll end up in a box
underground listening to blasphemous remarks.
zoom down, outrun the feds all of the time
pen to paper pushing out vicious rhymes
a day comes when you learn your purpose on this planet
you learn your strengths, weaknesses, hates and habits.
then you perfect them like a move on the court
and if not you start over, but that's your last resort.