The Next Step

I'm scared. I'll just come right out and say it, I'm scared of what comes next. How could I not be? It seems like at a blink of an eye I went from being the new kid at Mayfair freshmen year and now a senior months away from graduating. Whoever said that high school flies by wasn't kidding. I remember my freshmen year like it was yesterday.

Anyway, recently I have taken the time to sit down and just think, really think about my future. In the end, I'm left with twice as many unanswered questions than I had before. There are just countless amount of decisions to be made, things to be done and tasks to be finished. Right now, it just seems like there isn't enough time in a day to get my stuff done. I don't know where to start.

It's not the process leading up to the next chapter in my life, but the thought of being there that scares me. I can't help but think the worst. There's a whole other world out there that we have yet to experience. As much as I say that I can't wait, that I can't wait to be independent and go out and try new things, I'm secretly dreading it. 

Am I ready? Am I ready to move on from this person that I am now and figure out who I truly am? Am I ready to push myself and test my capabilities? Am I ready to be an adult? 

The crazy thing is that 8 months from now, we will be sitting in those chairs at Ron Yary Stadium as we wait for our names to be called and take that final walk as a Mayfair student and whether we're ready or not, we will walk on that stage with our emotions in a bundle, and grab hold on our ticket out, our diploma. At that moment, we will be thrown into a new world like a bird leaving its nest for the first time. All we can do is learn how to fly. It all seems so surreal. 

My goal by the end of this school year is solely to prepare myself as best as I can mentally and emotionally. I don't think it's completely abnormal to fear something new, fear the unknown. I believe that in due time, I will be ready. For right now, I'm just taking it all in day by day.