CHANGE

I’m scared to graduate. Being in senior year has been so surreal that it makes me forget of what’s to come next, which is of course graduation. Graduation is the next step to life for all of us, but for me, I don’t want it to come. I don’t want to leave the campus that has taught me so much; it is hard to let go of something that has been with you for so long. But, as much as I want to stay behind to avoid change as much possible, I know deep inside that I can’t. It would be wrong. I can’t stay in high school forever, it would be almost criminal to do so. We are given so much time in our lives that it is must to experience whatever you can. We have to be able to move out of our comfort zone and into the unknown. And if you are afraid to move out of your comfort zone in fear of making a mistake, don’t be. Making mistakes is how we learn, and don’t let anyone ever bring you down for making a mistake. Mistakes are to be learned from, and when we do learn from it, we become an even better person than before. Making mistakes and accepting change is how we get through the next step of our lives. There is no right or wrong way to do it, you just go for it. With graduation being inevitable accepting the reality is hard, but there is no other way to put it, you have to go through with it. Change is not a scary thing; it’s only scary if you make it out to be. It helps us to grow, to mature from the people we were before. If you have changed then you are not a bad person, you are just a new and improved version of yourself. I’m digressing right now, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that we should not be afraid of graduation, of moving on to the next step. Change is your friend, your guide, and it helps you to learn new things while also improving yourself. I'm not really good at saying a message so I will just end this here.

Life and Happiness

I believe that the purpose of life is to be happy.  To live life to the fullest and be happy.  We as individuals never know when life may end for each of us, we must be grateful for life.  Life is a beautiful thing.  When I live life to the fullest and really enjoy everything life has to offer, I will become happier than before because life is a powerful thing in my opinion. Through all the rough times, we must stay positive and look at it through a different perspective.  We must move on and just make the best of what life has to offer.   Life is too short to be unhappy and angry at the world.  It’s not worth holding a grudge over it.  Try carrying out positive vibrations in life that will block all the negative things that is trying to slow you down or put you down in life.  I state this because when you put yourself in a good peaceful mood you can tend to become happy, which makes life a little bit sweeter.  As well, we should be thankful for the people that are around us today because you don’t know when their life may end.   Be thankful that they are involved in the journey that life brings along the way.  Be grateful that you have friends and family that you can lean on when times are tough because one day they might not be there for you to give you a big hug or cheer you up when times are tough.  I don’t know what the future holds but whatever happens I will make the best of it and whatever challenges I may face, I will stay positive and determined to overcome those challenges.  Anyways, when I’m happy, I tend to appreciate life more.   I think it’s because I am really enjoying life and I don’t want it to change its ways.  In addition, I will pursue a career in the future, and I want to make sure that I will be happy doing that career.  I don’t want to do something for the rest of my life and not be happy.  I want to make sure that I will be enjoying my job so I can live life in a happy mood.  I am thankful for life because it’s my life, I make the decisions on how I want to live, and I want to be happy, which is my goal in life.

Relations

      Through middle school to high school you've had plenty of relationships, ether as friends or more then friends. Allowing time to pass makes these relations grow into something beautiful, but will they still be strong after high school? After you graduate you lose a huge percentage of friends because they don't go to the same college you go to or you guys just fell off. I advise only to have a few friends in high school. When you enter and exit high school you'll understand why I said that. Always keep you circle right and have trust for a few. I may sound like a asshole or a person that is just saying nonsense, but it is all true. I'm a person who has broke off some many relations with people it's sad. I only have two friends that I've know since kinder. Those right there are family, and since I've been in high school I've gained two brothers that I could call blood. They both have taught me a lot and showed me the ways of high school. Then everyone else around me is just acquaintances. There's just some friendships that you don't need or wont do anything for you. Then real relationships, they come and go don't dwell on them heavily. There is some one for everyone, it's just timing and location. Some people find there other sooner then others but you shouldn't trip if you don't find yours during high school. That is the least of your worries.  In college and in the adult life in general you will meet new people and make stronger relations."I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun." -Charles R. Swindoll. I can say I've enjoyed these years of high school very much and had a smile on 90% of the way. The memories I've gathered and the time that has been spent will never be forgotten.

   

Breathing Experiences into Words

With college right around the corner, my stress level is at an ultimate high. I'm stuck between wanting to enjoy my last year of high school in every way possible and being crammed with assignments left and right. I didn't like writing as a child, i thought it was a complete waste of time. I've always had and still have a difficult time putting thoughts and emotions on a piece of paper. I've come to realize, well for me personally, telling a story in person is much easier than writing a story on paper. The last 2 weeks of ERW surprisingly have helped me a lot. Breathing Experiences into Words chapter by Peter Elbow has given me some good tools to improve my writing. First, when writing about your experiences it should be more about what you saw/heard rather than what you felt. The reader/audience want to develop their own feeling and connections. They want to feel as if they're experiencing the story themselves. Second, the writer must supply imaginative, descriptive visuals for the reader. Describe as much as possible, the reader will appreciate it. Third, make sure readers can understand the thoughts you are trying to communicate with them. Know your audience, don't try to complicate your writing too much with fancy language. Fourth, write honestly. To relate to readers, you must make a personal connection. You want readers to understand where you're coming from. Fifth, don't worry so much about revising your work especially if you're only in the raw writing stage. Get all of your thoughts and ideas on paper first, and then worry about it coming together in later drafts. Raw writing is typically all over the place as it is. When writing i think all students have had a time where we've doubted ourselves about whether or not what we're writing about is on topic and or is good enough. We have to learn to trust ourselves. Another good piece of advice to help improve our writing is to read aloud. A lot of times things tend to make sense in our heads but when we say them aloud it's different. When you ask readers for feedback, make sure they're as specific as possible. Do not settle for answers such as "It's good or I like it". Make readers give you specific critiques to improve your writing. Last but not least, the most important of the advice given is to play the image game. I reiterate, give your readers as many images and use as much descriptive language as possible. Make sure your audience feels as if they are living your story. I feel a lot more confident going forward in ERW after this assignment.

Pressures

The amount of pressure on us at this point of the year is crucial. Our parents and counselors are pressuring us to apply as deadlines quickly approach for college admission applications.  We also have pressure coming from our teachers, coaches, and peers causing us to have so much to do in such little time. Us athletes are preparing to go into our last seasons, having faith that it'll be the best season we would have, and those of us who take honor in succeeding in the classroom are pushing to get that highest grade. Regardless of all the pressures we must remember to not let it discourage us. All the stress and pressure  will soon turn into an accomplishment we will all be honored to have. Success is waiting for us class of 2015.

Regrets

just a little somethin before i go to sleep: 

It's smart to not regret things you've done in your life, because everything you've done is a small chapter out of your personal book of Life. What you're gonna do is already figured out, so there's no reason to regret actions you make. 

My situation

I am very conflicted at the moment.  Most of you know that I play football.  Going into the season I never thought I would have colleges interested in me playing football for them. But here I am with a few colleges asking about me and trying to recruit me.  The thing is that I don't really know if I want to play college ball.  I love the sport and it's a big part of my life but I'm kind of tired of playing.  It's such an exhausting sport and is very time consuming.  I really am torn because who can turn down a free education? Also I want to stay local so I can stay close with my family and girlfriend.  If I get into the college I want to attend, CSULB, and I have an offer from a college to play football with a free ride, I really don't know what I would do. I just thought I'd share this because it's something I think about everyday.

Learning to Be Alone

In a little less than ten months, I'll be by myself, in a college dorm room, without my family or friends, and that completely terrifies me.  I've always been the kid who couldn't wait to be older so I could venture out alone and see what the world had to offer, but now that it's almost time for me to actually go into the "real world" alone, I'm not ready.  I like to tell myself that I'm independent and that I'll be fine on my own, but deep down I know that that's far from the truth.  I'm still very dependent on my family, especially since I still look at my mom to answer questions for me when we're in a doctor's office and the doctor is talking to me.  Also since I'm the baby in the family I've always had someone looking out for me.  When some girl was bullying me in Kindergarten my sister was right by my side defending me and when I hear a strange noise at night I always go to my dad or my brother for them to figure out what it is.  But, once I go to college I have to be able to protect myself and trust that I'm making the right decisions.  What I'm most nervous about being alone at college is putting my trust in the wrong people.  My parents have instilled in me to always trust my instincts, so I hope with that and with some other lessons they have taught me I'll be able to keep myself out of any problematic situations.  But, you never really know what's going on in other people's minds and what their capable of doing, so I hope I'm lucky enough to not make friends with any crazies without knowing (I really hope I'm not jinxing myself).  People also say not to judge a book by it's cover, but I've been watching a lot of crime shows lately and I think it's pretty safe to say that if you look like a serial killer, I will not be befriending you.  In all seriousness, I hope that in these next ten months I learn how to become more independent and be okay with being alone.  I also hope that I don't let the fear of being by myself get in the way of going to a school that I really want to go to.

Wandered Mindset

I sit daydreaming like I'm feeling possessed
wondering if life could ever feel meaningless
my want is to sleep while I'm being caressed
go day in and day out wanting to flourish
I can't live the lives these others seem to walk and live
Should I quit and conform until my heart gives?
I got family in the ground, family in the sky
pushes me everyday to live and to fly high.
I look side to side and see only demons by
nobody's ever there, in my head I'm always screaming why?
You live, you learn, we all eventually die
but why shorten your lifespan when you didn't even try?
life's a test, but you never even studied all
the tools and the things that you're called to recall
cheating takes you so far, then you try to carry it on
you change your ways and motives to try and fit in with what's gone.
It's hell seeing the ones you care for leave
never even saw it coming like you pulled it out your sleeve
follow the light or follow the dark road
the future untold, a path with stories untold
second guess yourself, you'll end up in a box
underground listening to blasphemous remarks.
zoom down, outrun the feds all of the time
pen to paper pushing out vicious rhymes
a day comes when you learn your purpose on this planet
you learn your strengths, weaknesses, hates and habits.
then you perfect them like a move on the court
and if not you start over, but that's your last resort.

Stressful times only getting more stressful

As time goes I start to get more and more stressed about making college decisions, and the uncertainty of not knowing where I'll get accepted is stressing. Applying for colleges has turned out to be a bigger task than I thought it would be, and it doesn't help when you're totally stumped on what to do. I don't really know what I'm doing, and I wish I had more help at home. It's kind of frustrating applying for school, and your parents not being able to guide you when you need them. I can't really blame my parents, but sometimes it’s so easy to. I feel the stress of going to college even higher because I will be the first in my family to attend. My parents have high expectations for my college plans, and I'm scared I won’t meet them.

Writing lately has also become a difficult task. I can’t seem to put my thoughts into words, and it's terrifying to know that my writing will have such a great effect on my college acceptance. I'm scared that they won’t like what I say, or if what I said is the same as everyone else. Even while writing my personal statement I feel myself lost for words. I have all these ideas in my head that soon get lost with all the other things happening in my life.  My mom tells me not to stress out about it, but she doesn't understand the pressure that has been placed on my shoulders.

 It has also been very confusing and stressful having to determine a major. I have an idea of what I want to study, but then I start to think about everything else that’s possible and I’m back in the same spot. I know I shouldn’t be second guessing my dreams and aspirations, but it’s so hard when you’ve had people telling you you’re dreaming too big or that you’re not smart enough.  I know I shouldn’t pay attention to those people, but it’s hard not too when you’re already doubting yourself.

I know that ultimately I shouldn’t stress out about college because what happens will happen.  I’m just hoping that wherever I end up going I will be happy and comfortable. These next few months will definitely be stressful, but I’ll live through them. For now I’ll have to worry about not slacking off and doing well in all my classes.

A change of heart(the other post wasn't finished)

     During freshman year, I'd think to myself about high school, I usually associated it with the long boring classes where everyone is either deadly silent or irritatingly loud.  I knew I needed to "endure" this horrible process for the next 3 years up until it was time for college(which at the time scared the hell outta me!).  At certain times during the year, I'd wake up at 7:00 mumbling to myself, "why do I need geometry!?!", and rush to school.  But as I went through high school, I stopped complaining about the basic questions everyone was asking.  I personally just dealt with it and did my work, answered questions to the best of my ability, and usually earned most of the points on quizzes and tests.
      As the years passed I gained a better understanding that high school wasn't supposed to be boring, it was so we could be better prepared for the world outside of school and even college.  From my personal perspective, it morphed from a dull experience to a fun, social, and educational adventure.  I have learned a great deal of things and will continue to for the course of the year.  I have also made many friends, some of who will remain to be very close to me.  Until death do us part, once a Monsoon, always a Monsoon!  

   

Life

the days come and go fast like an eye blink
ya heart falls faster than the titanic sinks
you come aware after you've done over and over
can't trust these, always look over your shoulder
the time has come where you can't really change
life's a maze, you get out by studying for days
and weeks, and months, maybe even a lifetime
while you could be living your dream thinking you prime time?
you think you the hottest topic, but you aren't near
go to sleep at night dream of constant fear
all washed up you didn't want to believe
when you heard of all the chances and the opportunities.
wanna fit in so bad, you go against those there for you
don't know what to do, so you start searching for clues
need help, come begging and then you ignore
no need to open a door that's closed like a coffin door
you see stars, see ya future isn't looking nice
would've helped if your heart wasn't pure ice
just wait you will see what these words really mean
when you're gone and see me living your biggest dream
everyone wants success but how you plan to reach it?
by cheating life, or do you wanna make the right decisions?
my times helping are over you chose it for the worst
i'll shed a tear lifting your coffin into a hearse.
the earth takes another soul that loved the world more
because you didn't realize life was an open door
good better best
never let it rest
until your good is better, and your better is best.
judgement time, you're gone, heaven or hell, light or fire?
time's up, these lyrics, your life, my life, just expired...

Scared of What's Next...

Ever since senior year started I have been thinking about what's going to happen after I graduate. Every time I do think about it I get scared a little bit of what's to come next because I have gotten so used to coming back the next year. But that's not going to happen this year. We will move on to college or get a job of some sort. Who knows where all of us will go. Some of us might move to another state or go away for college, or some will stay near home. Its just scary to think that all of my friends may go and I will never see some of them again, I could just never get over that thought. Yeah we will meet new friends in college and in the future. I just don't want to miss the friends I have gotten to know over the last six years. I've never liked change in my life, but we all have to move on in our lives. Meeting new people in our lives will open more doors for our future and that special someone you've always wanted to meet. In the end we will move on and it all starts when we graduate high school.

Mistakes

Growing up, you would never think of some of the mistakes you would create. There are some that are minor, and there are some that are life changing. However, you cannot dwell on those mistakes you have made, for it will hold you back from moving on. I was always taught 'Don't dwell on the past, live in the now, and focus on the future." It bugs me when parents and adults act like it's the end of the world if a teenager makes a mistake, not realizing that they were in our exact position not too long ago. It annoys me how they expect us to be perfect, but truth be told, they probably made some of the exact same mistakes we make today. They learned and moved on from it, so they should be more understanding as to what situations we are in and help us learn from it rather than get on us about how disappointed and upset they are towards us. Mistakes happen all the time at all ages, so I feel that it is unfair that we get the heat from our parents like we are supposed to be the closest thing to a god.

Money 💵

     The love of money is the root of all evil.  What can be evil is our love of money, the decisions we make when using money our attitude about money and the things on which we spend money on.  Too many times we get caught up in wanting the wealth and the things it can buy us.  Our culture sends a constant flow of messages about what we need to buy in order to be happy and satisfied.  And the truth is that no matter what our culture tells us, or how much we buy, it is all an empty promise.

     One of the few things that can make us truly happy, fulfilled and satisfied is money.  Money is simply a tool, like a hammer.  Tools have no value they are neither good or evil.  People think that the actual money is the root of all evil, they don't realize that the love that most people have for it is the root all off evil.  You can like money to an extreme amount, but never let it become your god.  Respect money for all the good it can do. Have good plans for your money. Enjoy money and have a desire for money, but never live your life for money.   Use money properly and you can build a happy, satisfying, life. Use it improperly and your life will be miserable.  The world we live in today is ran by money and money only.  

     It's really sick what people do for money.  Money is also used for manipulation and mind control.  You can almost do what ever you want if you have a lot of money.  Think about the fact that the currency we exchange is nothing more than printed paper.  It doesn’t really have any value at all except the value that’s been assigned to it.  Why would we want to measure our personal wealth against printed paper that has no value? And yet, this is the mindset that millions of people have adopted.  Look at the effect money has on the way we view ourselves.  And regardless of how we reason on it intellectually, the truth is, we all have an emotional connection with money because we always feel better when finances are not an issue.  

     It's okay to want to make a lot of money, it becomes a problem when people let money control their life.  From early childhood we are told that money makes the world go around.  So right away, we learn to recognize that everything we want in life has a price tag on it.  From that point on our mindset is that to get anything in life it requires money.  I wonder what the world would be like if money didn't matter. 

Change

       Never have I thought about my future as much as I have this year. It's my senior year and it's time for me to start really figuring out where I want to go to further my education, how I am going to get there, and what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. These decisions are probably the hardest I have ever had to make and I tend to change my mind all the time. So basically, I'm conflicted.

    I think what I am mostly afraid of is how different my life will be in a year from now.  At this point I feel like I can end up almost anywhere for college but I want it to be somewhere that I love. Since I've had the absolute best high school experience at Mayfair, it scares me to think that in a year I will be at a different school in a totally different environment. Also, since my group of friends have been very close throughout all of high school, it saddens me knowing we will all probably be at completely different places next year. Honestly, change scares me and I'm going to experience a lot of it very shortly. 

      Even though the future frightens me it's also very exciting. I'm looking forward to going to college, meeting new people, and discovering things about myself. I feel that college is going to be such a high point in my life and will really shape me into the person I want to become. No matter my decisions, I know I'm going to make the best out of wherever I go or whatever I do. All in all, change is going to be hard for me to deal with at first but I know it will be essential to help me grow as a person and experience new things. 

Bittersweet

I'm sitting here thinking about all the memories I have here at mayfair, realizing that the moment we've all been waiting for is quickly approaching. Reality is starting to settle in for me, I am realizing that this will be my last year running high school track. Even though I am excited about competing at the next level, I know my last season here will be bittersweet. Looking back at my first year of running here I could remember my teammates and I talking about how we couldn't wait to be seniors, but now that the time is here I wish it didn't come so fast. I'm going to miss having fun at all my track meets with my teammates, coaches, and competitors. My last season here at mayfair will be one to remember.

Listen sometimes

  Growing up as a young kid you always hear that it's important for you to do well in school. However you never really realize how important it is for you to do well in school until it comes to the big day. That big day is when you're a senior wondering what you're going to do with your life next.        

  You're torn in between the two, you don't know whether you should pursue school or venture off into the real world and figure out what's best for you. Now you're in a tough situation. There's going to be many days filled with contemplation. Thoughts steadily racing if I would've... If I could've... Then I should've taken my education more seriously. If I would've studied then I could've passed and I should've thought about that back then like I do now. 

  Although I know it's not too late, I know it's kinda hard for me to escape, this mind boggling situation about my education that all could've been avoided through seriousness, hard work, and dedication. 

Procrastination

I'm happy to see that I've stopped my procrastination finally. Since Mrs. Fletcher gave us a calendar ahead of time, I knew when everything was going to be due. I'm actually proud of myself for getting all of my drafts done before they were actually due. Now, I have finished my other writing such as my letter to a trusted friend and my video project.

Over my four years at Mayfair, I have learned many things but the one thing I can say is the most important is actually not procrastinating. Frsshman year, barely starting high school, I was not the same person I am today. I was that kid that didn't cafe, was constantly late to classes, never did Ang work, and gave attitude to teachers. Then bullshitting my way through an AP ans two honors classes, I realized I made a huge mistake by procrastinating on my work when it came time to the testing in May. That year I decided to do a little better and focused on just honors classes. Since then, I've learned a lot. Now, being a senior has really emphasized this rule because we are adults now; we have jobs that we need to be on time to, we have cars in need of fixing and maintenance, and we have other responsibilities that need tending to. With procrastination, none of us can get our stuff done and won't be all that successful in the future. 

With college applications coming to a close, all of us at seniors need to really focus on that. Even if you plan on attending a junior college like Cerritos or Long Beach city, focus on the stuff you need to get done! From the real applications to other things like picking classes, everything has a deadline. Not trying to throw anyone under the bus, but my friend who just graduated had thought she was going to big places and just because she missed a few deadlines, she stuck taking the year off! She had really wanted to go her dream university but these colleges do not play! She's now stuck doing nothing everyday all day. I'm not saying taking a year off is bad but  if you really want to pursue your dreams, pay attention to the deadlines!
So in conclusion, I'd like to thank Mayfair, especially senior year, the importance of not procrastinating. And I'd like to thank my unknown friend for making these mistakes and letting me learn from them!  

There's No Wrong Choice

 I keep hearing of people stressing out because they want to be accepted into a prestigious university, but I honestly don’t worry about it. These colleges may give us privileges but just going to them wouldn’t guarantee our success. Everyone is going to start off with GEs  so there isn’t any difference at other college choices. If you start from the “bottom”, you can just persevere to reach the top. As long as we continue our education and not be couch potatoes, we can succeed wherever we choose to go.

Some people already have the college of their choice set and aren't open to other options. I don’t have any preference and actually would choose any as long as I can continue my education. I don’t underestimate myself in being accepted to a prestigious school but I wouldn’t mind starting at a community college. I hate the fact that some people look down on you when you tell them you are going to community college. In my opinion, community college has the benefit of being cheaper and can also lead to success. We are just beginning with GEs so there is always the option of transferring afterwards. I believe any college is a good college, if the individual has the will to learn and pursue their dreams. Walt Disney is one of my inspirations and as he once said, “ All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”

A college degree is said to give us a better job but it isn’t easy. Some people have made it to those top universities but didn’t have a positive outcome. The prices of some four year universities are very high and at the end some people change their majors or drop out. How many people haven’t gone into debt after those student loans? The money and time wasted can’t be gained back and the feeling of failure is inevitable. We all have failures but we just have to learn from them instead. On the contrary, some people have been accepted into top universities and succeeded so at least make an attempt.  

          So I am just trying to say that don’t stress out or get disappointed about not being accepted into that prestigious school you always wanted because it meant more success. Don’t rely on only one but expand your choices. In my opinion wherever you guys all decide to go in the future, the obstacles you overcame to reach your goals, are the ones that define and truly make you successful. Don’t feel inferior because of other people but take pride in yourself. Now is there really a difference starting from a community college or a four year university? You should be the one to make that decision and just know that both will provide you with an education. 

The Next Step

I'm scared. I'll just come right out and say it, I'm scared of what comes next. How could I not be? It seems like at a blink of an eye I went from being the new kid at Mayfair freshmen year and now a senior months away from graduating. Whoever said that high school flies by wasn't kidding. I remember my freshmen year like it was yesterday.

Anyway, recently I have taken the time to sit down and just think, really think about my future. In the end, I'm left with twice as many unanswered questions than I had before. There are just countless amount of decisions to be made, things to be done and tasks to be finished. Right now, it just seems like there isn't enough time in a day to get my stuff done. I don't know where to start.

It's not the process leading up to the next chapter in my life, but the thought of being there that scares me. I can't help but think the worst. There's a whole other world out there that we have yet to experience. As much as I say that I can't wait, that I can't wait to be independent and go out and try new things, I'm secretly dreading it. 

Am I ready? Am I ready to move on from this person that I am now and figure out who I truly am? Am I ready to push myself and test my capabilities? Am I ready to be an adult? 

The crazy thing is that 8 months from now, we will be sitting in those chairs at Ron Yary Stadium as we wait for our names to be called and take that final walk as a Mayfair student and whether we're ready or not, we will walk on that stage with our emotions in a bundle, and grab hold on our ticket out, our diploma. At that moment, we will be thrown into a new world like a bird leaving its nest for the first time. All we can do is learn how to fly. It all seems so surreal. 

My goal by the end of this school year is solely to prepare myself as best as I can mentally and emotionally. I don't think it's completely abnormal to fear something new, fear the unknown. I believe that in due time, I will be ready. For right now, I'm just taking it all in day by day. 

Life After High School

          Ever since I was little I couldn't wait to be a high-schooler, and do high school things. That time finally came, and now it's almost over, in what seems like the blink of an eye. Some things that have happened in high school have shaped me into a better person, and gave me tips that can be useful for the years to come. June 18th will come faster than any of us think, and I believe I am ready, but am I really? It hasn't really hit me that once I go to college life as I know it will never happen again; I won't be able to go to school everyday and see the many familiar faces I have grown to enjoy, or walk to my next class while crackin' jokes with my best friends. Soon enough, that's all over.
          Although I know what way I want to take my career path, I'm nervous for the journey I will take to get there. I've always wanted to get away for college, that hasn't changed, but I don't think I've realized how much more is changing than just me leaving the house. Some of the friendships I have created in high school will disappear, and people will go off on their own journey's, but that's not what I want. I've spent time on creating these bonds with certain people, but I'll have to start over for the most part. Only those who are closest to me will be around, and even then, they'll be doing their own thing. Sometimes my close friends and I fantasize about going to the same college so we can share those experiences as well, but in reality, being separated is probably what is going to happen. On the bright side, I know that these are friends I will have forever, so the memories we all make can be stories we share that will last a lifetime.
          The people that I know I will miss the most is my family. The love I have for these people is crazy, and I don't know where I would be without them. Going to college far away will be tough on me as well as them, but we both know that these steps will only get me to where I want to be. My family will be there every step of the way, ad will never leave my side, and by knowing that the transition to college should be a little easier. I can't wait to see where I end up after this next stage of my life.      

SAT... Is It Fair?

     The SAT is the dreaded test of all high schooler's, especially juniors and seniors. Maybe you study maybe you don't, but that score will determine which college you won't get into. But, is this test fair? Is this is this test a true reflection on our knowledge?

     My opinion, the SAT test does not reflect what we have learned throughout high school. We have to study and study because half the words on the SAT test, we never heard of before. The SAT vocabulary is ridiculous compared to the regular vocabulary of any English class.

     The goal is to get as high of a score as you can out of 2400. To even get above a 2000 is a very rare. Some of the smartest kids in our class only get 1700, maybe. When you look up the average score is only a 1500, how can we strive for 2400 if practically no one can get there? Is this test necessary or should at least be changed to a more understanding of all vocabulary? Is this test necessary or should we change the test to make it more understandable and realistic?

Procrastination

Procrastination is something that most of us have done all throughout high school, and especially something that we will add do senior year. This year the amount of work that we have received from our teachers isn't so bad unless you procrastinate like what most of us do. We are given multiple days for assignments that we get but we all insist on waiting until the last minute to do things. I for one have been a huge procrastinator this year, but I get most of my work done on time. For some reason most of us have that play now work later mentally but it would have  be so much less stressful if we could reverse that phrase. Doing the work and then having fun makes having fun so much better because you won't have to worry about your work that has to be done in the future.
For example, it's Wednesday night and I might have to spend a little bit more time doing homework tonight compared to other nights because I have been procrastinating a lot. I have had a few weeks to type up my about the author and about the time I messed up, but I'm waiting until today to get that task knocked down. Good looks to Mrs. Fletcher for extending the due dates for our papers. Tonight I also have to complete the vocabulary and study for the quiz. All this work wouldn't  have been so bad if I didn't wait until tonight to start doing my work. All the work that I listed before is just the English homework that I procrastinated to do. I also waited until tonight to do my Econ homework and stats homework, and I have a test and quiz in both of these classes tomorrow.
No matter how much I try to do my work on time I usually never do because I know that I'll get it done before the deadline no matter what. I know that in college that might not be able to work because college work is a little bit lengthier than high school work, and the content in the work is a lot more in depth and complicated. To be successful in college we need to plan out what we are going to do so we don't have to wait until the last night to do a paper. I know that it's much easier said than done, but like in sports and school you have to keep practicing until you get better.

My College Nightmare

          Applying to college has always been something I have looked forward to. Researching colleges and visiting college campuses have always been fun for me. For a while now I've always known where I was going to apply, but my biggest fear is not getting excepted anywhere. I have always believed I am a well-rounded student with a good GPA and cheer, ASB, link crew and various clubs behind me, but will the college admission officers believe I am? If I don't get accepted to college I honestly don't know what I would do. I have worked my whole life up to this point to get into a good college and maybe even one of my choosing. Although going to a junior college or starting off in the work world would work for other people, that's just not how I pictured myself starting life after high school. So I hope that when March comes around and we get our acceptance letters that I and everyone else gets in to the college they wish to go to.

Are We Really Learning?

Throughout high school I have strived to get that glowing A on all my report cards and that is all I've worked for. Every time I took a class my main goal was to get an A. Our school system is based on these letters that every student thinks determines our fate. Between us and our parents we believe that these measly letters are everything. As a student I didn't even care if I learned or retained any information from the classes I took. As long as I got an A, I reached my goal. Why has one letter been our goal for 4 years?

As a student who is supposed to be learning at school, I question if learning ever really happens. We are so consumed in receiving good grades which we know will lead to being accepted into to college, we ignore the fact that we should actually be learning what our teachers are trying to embed into our brains. When was the last time you can say you did an assignment without thinking about the grade? When was the last time you did an assignment and reflected on why it was given to you and what you learned? We all work for A’s because A’s equals college but once we get to college will we even know what is going on? Because every assignment we do or test we take revolves around the idea of an A instead of the idea of learning.

How can this be changed? Why does our school system base our success off letters? The letters on our report card may be acceptable for college but are our minds ready? All the students who enter college as a freshman don’t all graduate at the end.  Why? Was college too hard? Is the transition from high school to college too big of a gap that students can’t handle the pressure and change? 

We're all friends

  Mayfair has been like a second home to many students. I spend more time at the "fair" then I do my own home. Being able to come to a school and be accepted amongst your peers is a great feeling. Majority of the student body gets along much like a family. Being at a school campus for over 5 years builds strong friendships. Mayfair has allowed me to meet many different smiling faces.

   I met my best friends in middle school. In 7th grade I played on the same Pop Warner football team as Adam Johnston. Although Adam is now a superstar linebacker here, he sure wasn't when we played together. One thing about him is he would give you the shirt off his back if needed.

  Walking into Mr. Fongs history class, in 7th grade I met this chubby kid eating a snicker. Not having anything to eat for snack I approached the kid asking for a piece. The chubby kid broke me off a piece and he shook his head of frustration. He later told me his name was Ricky Parra and one day he'll be the president of the U.S. I never hung out with Ricky until we reached freshman year. 

  Walking the halls of Mayfair's campus daily I started to get more comfortable  with the people around me. I noticed during passing period this dark alien shape headed boy always gave me a weird stare. I looked the boy up-and-down every day as a way of letting him know I was superior. The frightened little boy approached me, he apologize for the weird stare downs. We conversated for a short period of time. He told me his name was Faizon Creighton. I thought his name was very unique although his strange personality kept me away from him until freshman football.

    Over the past couple years I came to the realization that Mayfair has given me the best three brothers I never had. Despite Adam's goblin like facial features, Ricky's eating habits, and Faizons deformed egg head they've been the people I could trust with my life and could come to them for any hardships.

   I just wanted to take the time to say thank you Mayfair for giving me friendships that will last a lifetime . #Classof2015 #Gosoons

Audience

More Ways Of Getting Words On Paper: Loop Writing

Reflections

          After reading several blogs, I have came to the realization that my high school career is winding down pretty fast. Yes, I have had tons of memories: doing my Track and Field meets and compositions with my teammates in the weight room,being part of clubs, taking hard classes etc.. Before this years ends I'm planing to add on to my high school resume with more memories I can reflect on several years form tonight.
           The best memories I can reflect on are my Track memories because I have been in track since Freshman year. Back when I was a Freshman, I was scared to join Track because I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of my friends and strangers. After i got over those fears, I stated to have fun and with that fun, came relations I'm great full for. Mr. Pendleton and I have became good friends in my eyes and we keep in touch frequently. Even thought, he is my coach he and I can laugh at each others mistakes. I'm glade I did Track, if not then i would have not to have got to know Mr. Pendleton more than a teacher but as a human being.
           Moreover, I took a 8th period my Junior year at Bellflower on Saturdays form 9am-2pm. Some of you might be saying why take a 8th period? I'm glade I took that class! It gave me more of a greater experience on how high school is just more than school Monday-Friday, sports, clubs etc... Even though this class was at Bellflower, I learned so much from that teacher Mr. San Martin whom his wife teachers at Mayfair for 7th period. Besides that, lots of kids can't say they took a 7th period let alone a 8th period. Those 5 hours on Saturdays were well spent no matter what anybody tells me and life lessons that was taught there will always be remembered by me.
           All ready this year, I have made new friends from Mayfair and other high school which is awesome because you want to make your self to be diverse and not just hang out with one set of people or just know people from your high school.
            If you are reading this, reflect on you high school resume and you will be proud of the memorizes you have made because you are you and nobody can take that away from you.

Life

          All I've been thinking about is my life after high school. Im honestly scared to see what's next in life for me, but Im also excited. Theres a part of me that wants high school to be over just so that I can see myself grow as an adult but the other part of me wants to stay in high school forever because everything is constant and predictable. 

          Life is unpredictable. And that's the scary part. No matter how much I think about how I want my life to go, there is no guarantee that it will plan out the way I want it to. I have so many hopes and many dreams to graduate college, own my own house and have all the other luxuries people crave in life. But the reality is I can't be for sure, my hopes and dreams aren't for sure. The thought is still unbelievable that I'm a senior because I remember being a freshman just like it was yesterday and not having any worries at all because I was young. But Im a senior now and I have so many responsibilities to uphold and so many worries about life in general. 

          Although Im a senior with worries and responsibilities, I don't think that it has actually hit me yet. Yeah Im a senior and Im stressing. Ok. But I still feel like a kid, and I act so goofy around my friends majority of the time that sometimes I have to ask myself, "are seniors supposed to act this way?" These are thoughts that go on in my head unanswered. And I don't expect an answer now but I guess I just need a real reality check. Maybe I'll get it when I apply to college, or at senior seminar, or even at graduation, the last event. Who knows! I just hope that whenever I get this "reality check" that I am ready to take on everything full force! I hope that everything can become clearer to me and I hope to have a perfect view of my path, but for now all I can do is live in the moment and go with the flow. 

An Approach to Writing - based off of Peter Elbow's "Writing with Power."

Open Ended Writing Process

Oe

Writing for Teachers

Revising With Feedback Project

Three Tricky Relationships to an Audience

Paper Slide Video: 

http://youtu.be/u2xpCYg7whE

The End pt. 2

     Here's the end that everyone has been waiting for, the end of high school. We're about to walk through a new door into the real world, independent lives that most of us longed for, and that I hope we're all prepared for. Adjusting to the college life is going to be a task most of us will have to take on and for the rest of the people, adjusting to the life of a worker will be a task itself.
     Just as I said in my last post, you really don't want it to be over when it's really here but before the time comes, you want it to be over so badly. Honestly, I kind of don't want it to end but I'm really excited to just be out there and really tested. I want my full independence, and I know college will give me this. It's just sad seeing the end coming to a close so quickly, just like my football season. We were waiting for senior year to come and it seemed like it took forever but once it's finally here, we don't want it to go but now it's speeding up, just as my senior season did.
     I just hope that the rest of my fellow classmates are ready to take on life after high school. We talk about it so much as if it's scary but honestly it shouldn't be something we're afraid of. One reason some people might be afraid of the real world is because of the fear of failing but even the best fail sometimes, that's life. The failures make you better. So what I'm trying to say is just enjoy the rest of your senior year. The first quarter is already closing and the other three are going to be over before you know it so just have as much fun as you can, I know I am.

My School Career

          High school  has definitely been a challenge. And I think I can speak for everyone when it comes to that topic. But before I was in high school I couldn't wait to be a freshman, and once I was in high school, I couldn't wait for it to be over! But now to think that my high school career is about to be over is nerve racking and scary. I never believed it when people said "high school years fly by", but it really does. It's crazy to think about how  I'm no longer that freshman that roamed around school looking clueless. Or that sophomore that was too cool for school. Or even that junior who at one point wanted school to be over. I am now that senior. That senior who walks around with their head up high feeling powerful and prominent to be the highest of the chain.
          Being a senior in high school has its pros and cons but overall the feeling is bittersweet. One pro to being a senior is it's the best year of high school and you get to do all of the fun senior activities. And one con to being a senior is that your high school years are about to be over and the next stage in life is college or anything else you have planned. That's why the idea of being a senior is a bittersweet type of feeling. Don't get me wrong I'm excited for my senior year and I'm ready for life after high school but I know I'm going to miss cheering at every school event and going to all school functions, but most of all I'm going to miss the familiar faces and the people I've been around  all four years because I know once high school is over, I'm not going to see most of them.
          It's sad to think about high school coming to an end but I am prepared for the next course in my life. I can truly say I am well prepared for the next stage in my life and there is no doubt in my mind that I wont succeed.

My life, My choice.

Lately i have been stressing on the fact on where should try to apply for college. I have both of parents telling me where i should try to attend school at because it is convenient for them since i don't drive right at this moment. Just because i don't drive at this exact moment doesn't mean that i am going to be like that forever. Just because it is convenient for them doesn't mean i am just going to do it to make them happy. Its MY LIFE and MY CHOICE. Although at the same time i do feel that i don't know what i am doing so i feel like i have to rely on them to help me choose but once i had attended the college fair , it had helped me realize that i don't want to start at Cal State, because what would happened if i started to attend a Cal state and i come to the decision that college isn't for me and i wasted all that money that my parents spend. So i made the decision that i am just going to start out in community college because if i feel like its not for me then i know that i would have only wasted a little less money than i would have in a Cal State. I did tell my parents my decisions and one of them did seem OK with the fact that i wanted to start out in community, but on the other hand, my mother was not so happy. Yes she does want me to do better than what she has, she is just worried that if i do community that i am just going to drop out because i am not in some type of university. In a way i do understand my mom because she had tried to go community college and she didn't like it as much, so she had just dropped out, but at the same time i told my mom that i am not like her, yes she was totally different than i am. So with that i feel as if i am not going to drop out because its going to be my choice not to, and if i do, then it will be my choice for my my life. Additionally  going to the college fair had opened my mind because at first i thought community was going to be bad idea but actually i am happy with the decision i am making.

Stress in ERW

All of high school I took extra/harder classes to make my senior year stress free. Sadly, it seems as if ERW is turning that dream around. My other classes give me work but not so many at once. Ms. Fletcher gives us calendars, tells us almost everyday what we are doing, yet I still feel so lost. Just walking into the class scares me wondering what other assignments are going on that I didn't know about. I have a small notebook that I write my homework in everyday, and today, just in ERW, took a whole page. A WHOLE PAGE. I had Ms. Fletcher last year, so coming into the class I knew what she was looking for, yet I only have a B in her class. (I was and still am aiming for straight A's all year.) I can't imagine the kids who are just hearing all this at once for the first time. I knew this would be my hardest class, but I never thought I'd be so stressed. It's my senior year! Before I leave all the way across the country for college. I want to enjoy my last months and not be so worried about vocab that I most likely will never use, or a Peter Elbow project that will probably never be thought of again. I don't say this to diss Ms. Fletcher or the class, just to express my frustration that I and many others may have.

10 years

    Have you thought where you would be in 10 years? Where you will be and where you will be living. We can have a outline of our future but will never know what it is for sure. If you ask me right now where I'll be in 10 years I'll just give you the basic " ill be living in a house with a stable income, probably in a relationship with the rest of the world to explore". Realistically a high percentage of people don't even reach that stage till later on in life.

     It's a rarity to know exactly what you want to do and exactly know how your future will be planned out. It is a struggle because it starts with graduation and going to college. Our generation is predicted to make less money then our parents generation. That right there is a very sad prediction, what makes it worse is that it does kinda fit our generation. Most things are handed to us and we don't really need to work hard for it. There is only a couple of us who do the above and beyond to get more then the middle class life. The kids in our generation will probably still be in there's parents house stuck in a community college sucking cash from there parents working a minimum wage paying job with  zero time to enjoy life or enjoying life on a couch.

     What can we do to make our future be brighter? It's truly all on you, you are the only one that change the flow and outcome of your life. You have make choices that only make you better. Cut down on mistakes and give everything your one hundred. I'm not saying that mistakes are bad they do better ourselves, but it's wise to make few so you don't have to keep going back and fixing things. 

        Time is passing pretty fast and we have keep up with the speed. Nothing will ever slow down for us. The concept if life isn't meant to be east ether. We have to find out what life will be for us ourselves. In 10 years I hope I know what my life is. 

Do What You Love

All my life I have heard that if you want to be successful in the future it is important that you choose a career that will bring you financial security. Whenever I asked the question “What about my happiness?”, the answer was always “wealth brings you happiness.” While for some this may be true, I do not agree with this in any way. Just because someone has money and power does not necessarily mean that they are happy. In fact, they might be absolutely miserable because they decided to live their lives trying to live up to the expectations of others rather than believing in themselves and making their own decisions. My personal belief is that if you truly want to be successful in the future, you should to what YOU want and not what everyone else wants you to do, because that will bring you ultimate happiness.

            Over the years I’ve noticed that the people who tell us to find a successful, good-paying job tend to be those who are much older than us. They always use their own past experiences to try and convince us that having money is the most important thing in the world. However, they don’t realize just how much our world is changing. Our generation is filled with artists of all kinds and individuals with unique abilities. Colleges are searching for uniqueness and individualism among their applicants because they want students who will be bring something new and exciting to their school. They look for those who are passionate about what they do because they see the drive they have and they see the potential for them to have a successful life, even if what they are passionate about is not considered a “normal” profession.

             This is why I believe that when we are applying to colleges we should really take the time to think about what we want to major in. Some advice would be to isolate yourself from the world for an hour or two just to think about your own future without others around you influencing you. Instead of focusing on what your parents, family, and friends expect of you or how much money you should make, focus on what you truly want to do in life and what you are most passionate about. I honestly believe that if you pursue what you love in the future you will have a happy and successful life.

AF: I lost a great friend and teacher

My friend Bob Calfee lost his battle with cancer this weekend.

Robert Calfee is a professor Emeritus from Stanford University, and a rock star in English education, language and literacy.  I met him two years ago when I was selected to serve on the California Framework committee, and in that short time, he became a wonderful mentor and friend to me.  He would invite me to have breakfast with him in the mornings, before the work of the day began, and he would pick my brain and ask me the kinds of questions that made me think hard.

Bob inspired me to do good work, and to remember that the work we do serves the future, and that literacy outcomes for young people are highly consequential.  Whenever I have been confounded or confused by some policy issue or implementation plan with the Common Core Standards, I ask myself "What would Bob think?"  He was so open and generous with his time and his wisdom — an unfaltering advocate for the students of California, the country, and indeed the world.  He traveled far and wide to talk and work with teachers, and his influence is huge.  I am going to miss him terribly, and I will think of him always as I work with friends and colleagues to bring the vision alive -- that every student we face gains access to the keys that unlocks and opens the gate to their future.

It's a challenge.  Students often treat me as if I am an inconvenient interruption of their very busy lives, but I have to remind myself that this cannot and will not set my agenda.  I need to expect the best work possible -- demand it, and settle for nothing less.  There is just too much at stake to accept mediocrity.  The "C" and "D" grade just should not be acceptable to anyone.

It is my great wish for all of you that you have someone in your work life like Bob -- someone who moves you to do great work with their thoughtful and intelligent example.

The End pt. 1

     It's crazy to think that I'm a senior now, and especially in football, it's crazy to think that my season is almost over. Just thinking that it was my last time playing La Mirada, Downey, and Bellflower really just puts me in reality, it's about to be over. The time that I have been waiting for is coming but I just don't want it to be here yet.  I want to play more games and have more fun.
     Freshman year all I was thinking about was varsity football and how I couldn't wait until I was there. My football career was just beginning and I was excited to see how hugh school football was. After all the time I spent watching it when I was younger, I just wanted to experience it.
     Sophomore year was finally my time to get that experience, and i got to experience it with my brother. That was probably one of my favorite years of football because I gained a lot of experience that year while playing side by side with my brother.
     Junior year was probably one of my least favorite years and that's when I really wanted football to end. I wasn't doing good according to my standards and I was just over it, I still had fun though. One moment I remember is senior night last year when I seen the seniors running down that lane, I wanted to be with them, I wanted it to be my senior night too. Little did I know, it was going to come faster than I thought.
     People always told me to enjoy your senior year that it was going to go by fast, I didn't really know what they were talking about until now. My football games have flown by and I honestly don't even remember my first 6 games. I've been having a bunch of fun though, all of the seniors on the team have.  The years before don't compare to this year, I really don't want it to end because it's the best year of my life. It's almost over now and I already know I'm going to miss it.
     My advice to everyone who's season is coming up is to cherish it. Before you know it it will be over and you'll feel the way I'm feeling, amazed. Just have fun and make the best of it, it's going to wind down fast.

Life

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." - Confucius 

Expectations for College Life and Experience

I have really high expectations for my college experience. I want to squeeze every ounce of anything and everything I can out of it. College just seems like it is going to be a great experience, but I don’t want to have too high of expectations because I don’t want to be disappointed.

There are so many things to do while at college like join a sorority, clubs, etc. I just don’t know what I would want to do, extracurricular wise. I feel like I will join clubs because it is a good way to meet people and expose myself to different things.

When I talk to my older brothers, Aaron and Tristan, they tell me that they like college way more than high school, in some aspects. Aaron specifically told me that he knows I would like college life because it is independent; like living on your own, etc. Being away for college is something that I want, but not as far away as my brothers are. I want to be close enough to home so it isn’t difficult for me to go home when I would like to, but I don’t want to be close enough to where my parents could be completely in my business. I want the full college experience: living on campus, joining clubs, going to school events and more.

When it comes to my major I know what I want to do: I am going to major in Pre-Med. My dream is to become a doctor, I am not completely sure what kind of doctor: OB/GYN, Pediatrician, Podiatrist or Neurologist, but I’ll make up my mind during med school. Since I enjoy medicine and everything medical I know I will have fun going through the Pre-Med program at whichever school I choose. I do realize that the program won’t be easy, but what major is? I am looking forward to college being challenging, I like challenges, especially academic ones because it improves my way of thinking and tests my knowledge and my ability to gain and retain it.

All in all, I really can’t wait to go to college. I have an idea of how it is going to be but I can’t be sure it will be exactly how I picture it. Sometimes I don’t want it to be how I picture it because I want to be surprised, there’s no fun if you already know what’s going to happen. I look forward to making new friends, trying new things, learning great information and ultimately, enjoying it.

Time

"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you." - Carl Sandburg

     Time is a thing that we really take for granted.It's something that we think we have a lot of, but realistically we don't have much of it at all. Time has been a crucial factor of life and I've been contemplating if I actually have used it wisely. Of course I've been a very active person, going out and doing new or different things,but is that what I'm suppose to be doing? Truthfully I'm just trying to say value your time and do what makes you happy. Use the time Wisely and have fun. 

Change

Something I realized at Mayfair is that no one stays the same. The person you came into Mayfair as is not the same person you are when you leave. If you haven't changed then you haven't grown. Change isn't always for the better, but when it is it means you're maturing. Coming into middle school all I cared about was having a good time. Every time I did something wrong or failed to achieve expectations I could always say, "It's just middle school...it doesn't count".
 Then when I entered high school reality hit me like a ton of bricks yet somehow early on I still wanted to be the "popular girl". My parents always complained I had too many friends and didn't have to attend every event I was invited too. Then along came sports, and the more time I dedicated to athletics the more distant my friends became. A lot of the people I called my "besties" weren't on the same path that I am now and didn't have the same goals. My circle of friends grew smaller and smaller to the point where I only had a handful to fall back on when the going got rough.
If you take nothing away from what I've said thus far, just know that your priorities begin to change the more you grow. As I prepare to apply for college and take my SATs I am constantly drawn back to memories of the past and a fear awakens inside me. The fear to grow up...branch out. This has been something I've been avoiding all summer. As much as I wish time would come to a halt, we can all agree that it won't. Although graduation, life after high school, and commencement speeches are something I'd rather not think about; This Is Water   by David Foster Wallace gave me hope for the future. Quotes such as, "The things you're least certain about sometimes work best and if you make mistakes it means you're out there doing something" assured me that I will be okay.

College Apps

College applications have been really stressful for me lately. These applications make me very nervous because they are my future. Just thinking about applying to colleges make me nervous for my future because I really want and need to get into a good college. The stress of going to a good college is immense because all of the members in my family have and are attending good colleges. Choosing a college to apply to can be nerve racking as well because I don't want to make a wrong choice on which schools to apply to. I guess there isn't a wrong choice for which colleges to apply to but having to choose which ones to apply to has been on my mind for months now. I also hope that my applications will be good enough to be admitted into the colleges on the top of my list. Another concern of mine is not putting enough information about myself, making it seem like I haven't done anything during my life. Of course I feel like I've done a lot with my life in my short years of existence but I fear the comparison to other applicants. I feel like I have done many extracurricular activities but I fear that those activities won't be enough. I know that I could've done many more extracurricular activities, such as ASB, Link Crew and more, but I hope that what I have done is enough. Although this process is very stressful, I have learned to enjoy it as well. I enjoy applying to colleges because I get to tell people about my accomplishments, which may sound a little self-centered but I promise that is far from what I am. Even though choosing colleges to apply to is nerve racking, it's also exciting because the thought of actually getting into these colleges is thrilling. Honestly, getting into a good college is my goal right now, I'm sure it is most of our goals at the moment. My future is the main thing I think about, I'm sure most of you think about it a lot as well because isn't that what most teenagers/young adults think about? I know it is for me and applying to colleges is just one step to making my future even better, this is why I am sending in as many applications I can to all prospective schools that my mom will pay for. I realize that this was all over the place, jumping from topic to topic, but ultimately I just hope that my college applications are good enough to get into a good college or university because my future depends on it.